How to stop holding on to pain and negativity

For most of our lives we have come to terms that happiness is something external. Something we have to acquire,something needs to happen to make us happy,otherwise it’s impossible. We have come to terms that our default state is being miserable,sad and overall not enough. We are so used to feeling this way that whenever we start to feel differently we feel strange, as if this is not something normal or it’s something that shouldn’t be happening.

Recently something happened to me that crushed me. I was devastated and even though I knew there was no way of fixing it I still held on to the negative feelings. I held on to them because this is where I (we) felt most comfortable and because this is the feeling which most of us identify ourselves with.

It’s a lot easier to to feel like a victim and think day and night what you could’ve done differently and what it might’ve been,had you done things right than just letting go of the whole situation and moving on. And this is where most people get stuck over and over again.

People don’t use their brains anymore to create solutions or better their lives. The human mind has become a broken record player with thoughts of disappointment and regret.

Whenever something like this happens it’s vital to acknowledge the issue and ask ourselves.

       1.Can I change anything about it?
       2.Will this matter in the next several minutes/days/years?

If the answer to both of those questions is no, then that thought should no longer have any power over you.

The primary cause of unhappiness is never the situation but thought about it. Be aware of the thoughts you are thinking. Separate them from the situation, which is always neutral. It is as it is.” – Eckhart Tolle

Strangely enough feeling sad and miserable all the time gives us a sense of purpose or more of an identity. We feed off of the negativity and at the same time it feeds off of us and grows and keeps us under it’s huge shadow. And to think that you waste so much time being grumpy and angry, instead of savoring the moment and enjoying everything that life throws at you is just madness.

The thing is that we are the ones that can singlehandedly end this and move on, but it just feel so right and so good to stay at that place.

Do yourself a favour and let go of all those negative thoughts and feelings. Let go of the pain and just watch how your life will change. Negative thoughts will always pop up in our minds, but in such moments the only right thing to do is observe them. Watch what they bring and just like clouds let them roam freely and continue with your day. Our thoughts have control over us only when we allow them to. There is no way or enjoying the present moment if we always stay in the past and the present is the only thing that we have.

The past is already gone and it has no power over the present.


Don’t let the past steal your present” – Cherralea Morgen

Have you ever found yourself in a situation like this where you stressed over a certain event for way longer than you should’ve?
How did you deal with it and did you ask yourself the same questions? Share your experience in the comments below.


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.